


Q What?

by melonbutterfly



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-08
Updated: 2009-08-08
Packaged: 2017-10-12 23:43:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Zach share a cigarette and geeky theories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Q What?

**Author's Note:**

> For this (http://community.livejournal.com/trek_rpf_kink/1765.html?thread=1938917) prompt from the trek_rpf_kink meme.

  
"No way," Zach said. Chris was lighting their cigarette and thus couldn't reply, but when it was burning he took a drag and exhaled.

"Yes way, man. I swear on my life", he replied, watching as Zach took the cigarette from him and took a drag as well. It made him a little giddy that they were doing this; sharing a cigarette. That Zach's lips were wrapped around it exactly where his own lips had been only seconds before; that he could almost taste him if he licked at the cigarette instead of smoking it (which he didn't, but it was a possibility that made him want to blush like a girl).

"Seriously," Zach continued after politely blowing the smoke away from Chris, which was almost too cordial because hell, they were sharing that cigarette. Chris wouldn't mind if he got a little smoke in the face, especially not if it was from Zach. "Q is an alien. Omniscient, yeah most likely, but still not human. He has no idea of human customs and mannerisms and whatnot, and if the Q really have no matter-based bodies then it's twice no wonder that he has no concept of personal space. It doesn't mean he has the hots for Picard."

"It so totally does," Chris protested, taking the cigarette again. "Because even when he tried to get Riker to join the Q, he didn't drag him with him onto a tiny vessel and spend half his time standing almost pressed against his back and whispering into his ear from behind, did he? Actually I can't recall anytime where Q was as close to Riker or anybody else really as he usually is to Picard, physically speaking. I'm telling you, he has the biggest crush on Picard ever and is trying to seduce the hell out of him."

"No way," Zach said again, and Chris liked the way his words are almost visible because he was speaking while exhaling the smoke of their cigarette. The moonlight made it seem silvery. "If he's really that adept at seducing—or at least so familiar with the concept he knows how it's really done—why was he so clumsy and stupid when trying to seduce Janeway? One would think that he would have tried everything in his repertoire then, because his life and probably that of all Q depended on it. Yeah the concept of making a baby with a human to end a war is a little strange, but all that matters is that Q believed in it, and as such he should have done his best to try to make her agree. Yet, everything he tried was clumsy and awkward and incompetent. That means the way he behaves around Picard can not be purposeful seduction. And now don't tell me he's seducing him accidentally, because you just said that he's totally smitten with Picard and wants him like no other."

Chris pouted. "I wouldn't have said that. There is no reason to turn around in the middle of the discussion, because my arguments, and my point as well by the way, are perfectly valid. Now, first, that's the Voyager. Q likes Janeway because she helped his suicidal Q-friend despite the fact that the Continuum clearly wasn't happy with it; she was strong-willed and honest, but she didn't judge Q personally, and at the same time she made him see how tame he had become, which made him change his ways. I bet he's thankful for that, inasmuch as Q can be thankful that is." Zach raised an eyebrow and offered him the cigarette again; Chris took a drag while trying to gather his thoughts. "Then, we must consider the facts: there was a war in the Continuum. Suddenly, Q can be killed when they obviously couldn't before, when they considered themselves immortal before; it must have been traumatising, to say the least. I'm totally convinced Q didn't go to Janeway because he wanted a child from, with her but because he wanted, needed her help. He saw the way she handled the suicide-situation; very diplomatic, very thoughtful and considerate, but with a determination made of steel. I believe that he honestly admired her for that, actually, though he wouldn't ever admit it, probably not even to himself. Yeah, he said he came over because he wanted a child and maybe he even believed it himself, but honestly, he didn't try that hard to convince her, did he? If he had really, honestly been completely determined to do this, he could and would have done everything, anything. He could have gone into her head and looked up the way he would have to ask so she'd agree; he could have taken the body of her fiancé—hell, of Chakotay, can you spell sexual tension?—and had sex with her because clearly, the body doesn't matter since they aren't matter-based, he could have _made_ her agree, probably could even have made her want it; he could have made her believe it was all a strange dream or he could just have forced her. There's so many possibilities with what he could have done because yeah, he's omniscient and probably omnipotent too, no matter what suicidal Q said. But he didn't do any of that. Instead he whined and complained and whined some more, made a few half-hearted attempts, and the second she gave him a different option he went for it. He didn't _really_ want her to agree, he just wanted her to give him a way out."

"You just totally smashed any points I might have had; I can't even remember them." Zach blinked and took a drag of their cigarette, then took another one. "Yeah, you're probably right about that. But then there's Q's ex-wife, girlfriend, partner, whatever; what about her? He totally had a child with her, just like that, basically the moment Janeway mentioned the option. If he really had wanted to be with Picard, he wouldn't have, would he?"

Chris snagged the cigarette again. "She's his ex. There was a war raging on. Trauma. Blah. That he took the next-best option speaks of his desperation—of _their_ desperation, because clearly they weren't exactly a fairytale couple."

Zach snorted. "Yeah, fine. But why didn't he just go to Picard in the first place, asked him to have a child with him? I mean Q's body is made up, he would just have to snap his fingers to turn himself into a female form. Hell, to turn _Picard_ female. If he really had a crush on Picard, he would have done that, wouldn't he?"

"That's where the romantic comes in," Chris said smugly. "He didn't want to do that to Picard because he knows how much of an issue the children-thing is for Picard. He also knows that even if they had had a child, Picard would have never let it be raised in a Q-way, he dislikes the Q too much for that, and clearly a Q-child was necessary to end the war—though the whole child-thing _is_ a little dubious, yes. And then—here comes the romance—Q knows that if he had done that, had asked Picard, it would have ruined every potential chance he might have had with the guy. Because Picard would have been equally disgusted and hurt, because he knows that Q knows about his thoughts concerning children and his legacy, and that Q can treat such a thing with such disregard would have repelled him. Maybe, if things with Janeway wouldn't have worked and she wouldn't have had offered a different option, he really would have gone to him. But she did, so there was no need to."

"God, that's kitschy, you freak," Zach shook his head, clearly amused, and elbowed him. "But it's all supposition. There's no way for you to be sure Q actually did know about that legacy-issue of Picard, or that Picard knew that Q knew, or that Q in reality only wanted Janeway to give him a different option."

Chris shook his head and sighed. "You're giving me no other chance, man." He took the cigarette form Zach, reached and put his hand on Zach's shoulder, stepped closer and stared him right in the eye, plastering false sympathy on his face. "Behold of the power of my overkill-argument."

"Overkill?" Very sceptical, Zach raised an eyebrow.

Chris nodded sagely and took a drag. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this, but you're giving me no other chance." He blew the smoke away from them, mockingly took a deep breath and said "Patrick Stewart and John de Lancie put the subtext there on purpose."

Zach blinked. Blinked again. "What?"

"Yeah." Chris nodded, satisfied that he had managed to shock Zach. "It's really there, nobody is interpreting too much into their interaction. Because it's really there."

Zach stared. "You're kidding."

"No way! It's true, I read all about it. I swear on my life, John de Lancie said they put the subtext there on purpose, knowingly, deliberately."

When Zach only continued to stare at him, Chris took pity on him and gave him their cigarette so he could take a drag and collect his thoughts.

"Seriously?", Zach said when he had done that. "De Lancie and Stewart both agreed to put subtext in their action—in Q and Picard's relationship—they both premeditatedly did this?"

"Yeah, man." Chris nodded. "Real gay vibes, not just imagined ones. Not like Kirk and Spock that may be interpreted as such, even though it wasn't really the original intent; no. It's there. For real."

Zach took a breath, licked his lips and said "I want to watch that episode where Q locks them up in that tiny vessel together again."

"Sure, whatever you want." Chris took the last drag of their cigarette, snipped it away and blew the smoke at Zach.

"You just blew smoke at me," Zach said, and he was slowly returning to his old self, though his mind was visibly still racing with the possibilities. Chris knew because he had felt the same when he had first read it. He raised an eyebrow. "So I did."

"That means we have to kiss now."

Chris wanted to laugh because he remembered how rules like this had excited him when he had been a teenager and how now, as an adult, he could kiss someone without them simply because he wanted to, no shyness or awkwardness in his way. But he didn't, because sometimes Zach made him feel like a teenager again. He simply smirked and said, "Oh really?"

Taking off his and Chris' glasses, Zach replied not with words that "Yes really."


End file.
